is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
