come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
