But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
