brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
