the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
