Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
