if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
