someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
