those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize