we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
