Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
