so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
