So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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