We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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