He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
