Dual....:-)
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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