Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
