i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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