Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
