Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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