Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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