At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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