Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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