Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
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I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
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