I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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