You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
