I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Randomize
