i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
it's great music for shaving your balls
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Randomize
