I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
