Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(733): View more from

i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now

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(313): View more from Michigan

then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito

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(530): View more from California

Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later

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(303): View more from Colorado

maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...

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(302): View more from Delaware

you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.

(1-302): View more from Delaware

he's 29.

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(714): View more from California

Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.

(1-714): View more from California

If he was naked that was me.

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(706): View more from Georgia

Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there

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