I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
