I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I can't turn off my feet"
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize