that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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