Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize