That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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