dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
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