Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
