We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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