I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
