Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
