you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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