Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize