Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
