The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
