we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
