I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
