And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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