no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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