I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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