just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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