FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
