evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
her vagine was all disorganized.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize