Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize