Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Randomize
