I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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