well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
My balls are so social today.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
