This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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