I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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