do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
