Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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