It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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